gold jolts out of a nightmare and clutches their blanket closer to their chest. they can’t tell if the weighted nature of the blanket was comforting or suffocating, but they bury their head in it regardless, trying to stop hyperventilating. it’s not working, it isn’t, but it’s so hard to sit up, and they can’t put their energy into that right now. but the adrenaline rush says otherwise, and gold throws the blanket off of them, grabs their pillow, and curls up into a ball, laying against their bedframe.

gold’s breath wasn’t okay to begin with, but now the pillow’s suffocating them and the walls are pressing in but unfurling would only make things worse and nothing’s going right, what do i do what do i do i dont know i dont know i dont know I DONT KNOW GET ME OUT OF HERE

everything feels so heavy, like the weight of all the orbits are pressing down and wrapping around them and strangling them, and it’s all too warm and humid to deal with, so gold throws their pillow across the room and buries their head between their knees before frantically deciding to get out of bed and find somewhere, ANYWHERE they could feel safe, because this room’s seen too many breakdowns, and it’s not a safe place anymore

gold immediately regrets standing up - dizzy from the sudden change in blood pressure, but that doesn’t matter, they need to get out, they aren’t safe here, if raine, or hell, if anyone saw this, they’d-

they’re outside now. they’re okay, i’m okay, i’m oka- i’m not okay i’m not okay im not okay, im- no, i’m, i’m safe, im not okay but im safe, i’ll be okay, just breathe- just breathe, just breathe, just breathe.

they’re outside. in the forest. there’s nothing but comforting, happy memories here. it won’t be tainted with breakdowns like their room has, just breathe, focus on the rings in the sky…

it’s… kinda working, but they’re still shaky, along with their breathing, and orbits, are they lightheaded, they should sit down-

something moved. gold immediately tenses up and looks around, spotting the familiar glow of bytzi. they instinctively relax, before realizing that, no, bytzi’s dangerous, or at least that’s what raine says, but before gold could run, bytzi’s already spotted them as well

oh, uh- hey, gold, are- are you okay…?

gold pauses.

it’s just a simple yes or no question, right? it’s… a question gold doesn’t know how to answer without lying

but despite every instinct screaming not to…

um… y- m… no,,

gold shies away from bytzi, waiting for some sort of invalidating response, and the last thing they want right now is to attempt to validate experiences they’re not even sure of themselves

but bytzi doesn’t do any of that. instead, vi looks,, scared? is that fear in vir eyes? no, i’m sorry byt, i’m sorry, it’s my fault i’m selfi-

before gold can spiral any further, bytzi’s there, hand on gold’s shoulder

…hey, um-.. sorry, i- heh, you’re a lot better at this than i am,,

and despite every instinct screaming not to, gold practically falls onto bytzi and hugs vir.

maybe vi was the one person gold could actually lean on. maybe they wouldnt have to hide anymore, maybe they could- maybe they could be okay.

a second passes and bytzi wraps vir arms around gold, then mimicking how gold would comfort bytzi during vir own breakdowns as that’s all vi had to go off of. vi also let them both sink to the ground, as gold’s entire weight probably is a bit much